The do’s and don’ts

The ‘Do’s and The Don’ts’

Some advice for those with loved ones involved in a religious cult.

The Do’s

  • DO try to keep in regular contact via mail or telephone even if there is little response
  • DO express sincere love for the cult member at every available opportunity
  • DO keep a diary of comments, attitudes and events associated with his/her life in the cult
  • DO always welcome the cult member back into the family home no matter what is said
  • DO keep copies of all written correspondence from you and the individual
  • DO record all the names, addresses and phone numbers of people linked with the cult
  • DO try to bite your tongue if the cult member makes unkind comments
  • DO read all of the recommended books relating to cults and mind control, as well as reading other information on the cult in question
  • DO seek help and information from organisations specialising in counter-cult work. We care about you and your individual situation

The Don’ts

  • DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem
  • DO NOT say:”You are in a cult; you are brainwashed”
  • DO NOT give money to the member of the group
  • DO NOT feel guilty. This is not a problem caused by families
  • DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member
  • DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year
  • DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member
  • DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs
  • DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member
  • DO NOT antagonise any of the cult’s leadership or members
  • DO NOT be persuaded by a cult ‘specialist’ to pay large sums of money without verifying his/her qualifications
  • DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
  • DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members

Copyright (c) 1996 Cult Information Centre (UK). All Rights Reserved. You’ll find lots more useful information on their website.


    RECOMMENDED! [*] Also check out the Crisis page for further advice on what to do if you have a loved one in the International Churches of Christ.

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