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The 'Do's and The Don'ts'

Some advice for those with loved ones involved in a religious cult.

The Do's

DO try to keep in regular contact via mail or telephone even if there is little response
DO express sincere love for the cult member at every available opportunity
DO keep a diary of comments, attitudes and events associated with his/her life in the cult
DO always welcome the cult member back into the family home no matter what is said
DO keep copies of all written correspondence from you and the individual
DO record all the names, addresses and phone numbers of people linked with the cult
DO try to bite your tongue if the cult member makes unkind comments
DO read all of the recommended books relating to cults and mind control, as well as reading other information on the cult in question
DO seek help and information from organisations specialising in counter-cult work. We care about you and your individual situation

DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem
DO NOT say:"You are in a cult; you are brainwashed"
DO NOT give money to the member of the group
DO NOT feel guilty. This is not a problem caused by families
DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member
DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year
DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member
DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs
DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member
DO NOT antagonise any of the cult's leadership or members
DO NOT be persuaded by a cult 'specialist' to pay large sums of money without verifying his/her qualifications
DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members

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