The do’s and don’ts

The ‘Do’s and The Don’ts’

Some advice for those with loved ones involved in a religious cult.

The Do’s

  • DO try to keep in regular contact via mail or telephone even if there is little response
  • DO express sincere love for the cult member at every available opportunity
  • DO keep a diary of comments, attitudes and events associated with his/her life in the cult
  • DO always welcome the cult member back into the family home no matter what is said
  • DO keep copies of all written correspondence from you and the individual
  • DO record all the names, addresses and phone numbers of people linked with the cult
  • DO try to bite your tongue if the cult member makes unkind comments
  • DO read all of the recommended books relating to cults and mind control, as well as reading other information on the cult in question
  • DO seek help and information from organisations specialising in counter-cult work. We care about you and your individual situation

The Don’ts

  • DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem
  • DO NOT say:”You are in a cult; you are brainwashed”
  • DO NOT give money to the member of the group
  • DO NOT feel guilty. This is not a problem caused by families
  • DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member
  • DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year
  • DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member
  • DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs
  • DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member
  • DO NOT antagonise any of the cult’s leadership or members
  • DO NOT be persuaded by a cult ‘specialist’ to pay large sums of money without verifying his/her qualifications
  • DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
  • DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members

Copyright (c) 1996 Cult Information Centre (UK). All Rights Reserved. You’ll find lots more useful information on their website.


    RECOMMENDED! Also check out the Crisis page for further advice on what to do if you have a loved one in the International Churches of Christ.

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